Philip Ardagh's With Dismal Stories

“A good short story,” announced Rabbit, “must have a proper beginning, middle and end.”

“Beginning, middle and end,” nodded Lambkins, writing it down in his notebook.

Pig put up his trotter.

“Yes, what is it?” asked Rabbit.

“Any particular order?” asked Pig.

“What do you mean ‘any particular order’?” asked Rabbit.

“As long as the story has a beginning, middle and end, does it matter the order they go in?”

Rabbit sighed. “The beginning should go at the beginning, the middle in the middle and the end at the end,” he said.

Lambkins wrote that down.

“Oh,” said Pig. “OK.”

“What about a twist?” asked Ratty, who’d been sitting very quietly at the back. “Shouldn’t a short story have a twist at the end? Something unexpected?”

“Like ‘it was all a dream’?” Pig suggested.

“No, NOT like ‘it was all a dream’!” snapped Rabbit. “Twists are fine. A twist where it was all a dream is not.”

TWISTS ARE FINE, Lambkins wrote. “IT WAS ALL A DREAM” IS NOT.

“I think it’s time for a break,” said Rabbit. He produced a carrot from his briefcase and began crunching it noisily.

Ratty chewed quietly on a piece of electrical cable. Lambkins enjoyed a grass sandwich (on wholemeal) and Pig ate a truffle.

None of them spoke.

Soon it was time to get back to the lesson.

“I’d like you all to do an exercise,” said Rabbit. “I want you to write a story where there is no conflict. There are no arguments, misunderstandings, grievances or annoyances. Everyone gets on well with everyone else.”

“OK,” said Pig.

“No conflict,” nodded Lambkins.

“Splendid,” said Ratty. “This is going to be such fun.”

“I agree,” said Lambkins.

“I don’t,” said Rabbit. “The point of the exercise is to show that all good drama – all good storytelling – is based on conflict. It’s very difficult to write a short story without it.”

“Liar!” snarled Lambkins, leaping to his hooves. He waved a broken chair leg above his head.

“Which brings me to characterization,” said Rabbit. “A character should never act out of character simply to advance the plot.”

Lambkins returned to his seat. He wrote that down too. And underlined it.

Twice.

By Philip Ardagh

© Philip Ardagh 2008. Story taken from WOW! 366 published by Scholastic Children’s Books. All rights reserved.

If you enjoyed this story, why not try some of Philip’s books: The Eddie Dickens Trilogy and the Unlikely Exploits series